A Glossary of Herkommerisms

Every family has their own special words that they have invented, adopted, or adapted. Many of these have stories behind them that are at least as amusing as the words are themselves. I won’t tell you the etymology of our words (perhaps at the next wedding) but I will share with you some of our most favorite Herkommerisms and their meanings. As a historical footnote, the word’s inventor is shown in parenthesis (K: Mark, D: Diane, L: Lindsey, M: Michael, R: Rosie). Although you may not be a Herkommer, but with diligent study, you can a least talk like one...

First, Meet the Herkommers...

Here are some simple words...

Brainful (K): so smart you're stupid -- "Diane and I have three brainful children."

Butt-mix (M): essence of butt; obtained from the presentation of a naked buttocks to a piece of furniture -- "Mom! Rosie got butt-mix on my chair!"

Carmelly-Carmel (M): the name of a beloved brown blanket so old that its practically in shreds

Da-coo (M): Thank You

Earballs (K): your ears -- "You'll be up to your earballs in trouble!"

Eyeballzers (L): your eyes or eye glasses -- "Where did I put my eyeballzers?"

En-yo (L): Water --"May I have a glass of en-yo?"

Floor pie (K): something that is very good but found in an unexpected place -- If you spot a fifty-cent piece in an unusual place, you will want to say "Floor pie!" and fish it out.

Open Onion (L): your opinion -- I have an open onion too you know.

Purple cat (L): a term of gentle teasing from the book Brown Bear, Brown Bear -- "You’re a purple cat!"

Scannerism (K): the television remote control

Time Taking Grannies (R): Little old ladies that work in our neighborhood shopping mall that perform customer surveys on products. They say "this will just take a couple of minutes" but they lie.

TV oven (L), Michaelwave oven (L): a microwave -- "My food’s in the TV oven."

tweird (L): too weird -- "That nail polish is tweird."

waffle-o (R): a toaster waffle (from Eggo), as opposed to real homemade waffles -- "I like my waffle-o's with cheese."


Useful phrases when hanging with Herkommers...

Blasted-bowl-it (M): a vile oath -- equivalent phrase: "Darn, I hate when that happens."

Bleeka-bleeka (M): an attention getting phrase -- equivalent phrase: "Hey everybody, look at me. I want to talk but have nothing to say!"

Dad's the government (R): from the southern expression "dad-gum-it"; another vile oath -- equivalent phrase: "Blasted-bowl-it!"

Joe (R): way cool; turbo -- "Its so very joe!"

OY (L): hello; an exclamation; YO! spelled backwards -- "If you want to be joe, just say OY!"

Pleebe (K): a suppliant enunciation; please -- "Pleeeeeeeeeeeebe."

Polly-wolly (L): crappy -- "I don’t want to buy that polly-wolly shirt!"

Rubble-flagum (R): "How do you do?"

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